There are only a few openings for divorce according to the Bible. One is fornication. If there is abuse that puts you in danger (sometimes, this can even be mental abuse, but be careful here), you can leave the relationship. If he/she is not a Christian and he/she chooses to leave, Paul says to let him/her go.
If you are unhappy in your relationship, here are some suggestions to allow God to transform your marriage into what He had intended it to be.
- Look for ways to show your husband honor. Avoid saying or doing anything that could be interpreted as dishonor. When a man thinks that he is not being honored by his wife, it is very difficult for him to love her.
- Don't try to control your husband or push him toward spirituality.
- Pray for him.
- Stop bitter thoughts toward your husband as soon as they enter your mind. Rebuke them in the Name of Jesus Christ. Pray, "By the blood of Jesus, I take authority over these negative thoughts in my mind." "Lord, give me your thoughts of love and compassion."
- Ask God what to do and how God thinks about your husband and expect that God will speak to you and show you. Understand your husband's calling in Christ and make every attempt to be a suitable helper to his ministry.
- The Bible tells you to reverence your husband.
- If you are not getting the love you desire from your husband then you need to go to your Savior for that love. God's love is more amazing than any love your husband could ever give you.
- You will not be able to honor your husband without the Holy Spirit moving in your life. The Holy Spirit will do the work within you, but you must stand in His presence and seek His face with all your might.
- Avoid any attempt to find a substitute. This includes escaping into romance novels, allowing situations to develop male friendships, imagining a different man who you think might be more suitable for you, or any other such thing.
- It would be easy for a wife to honor a perfect husband or even a good husband, but it takes the miracle of God to continually honor and reverence a husband who isn't at all perfect or who isn't doing his part of showing love.
- Men eventually respond to honor. Respect has an effect on a man over time.
- Husbands almost always start to see the wife who honors them in a better light.
- Men need respect like they need air to breathe, and they expect it unconditionally from their wives. It's the way that men are created.
- When men are not getting respect, they find it hard to love. They sometimes even try to escape. A man who is repeatedly criticized and belittled by his wife will have a hard time dealing with the resulting negative emotions. A woman who follows the path of failure to honor her husband is foolish and has found the best way to tear down her own house and assure her own misery.
- Because of the nature of the marriage relationship, it can either spiral upward or spiral downward. Either the husband, through love, or the wife, through respect, needs to start the spiral in the upward direction. If the wife follows this course, she may have to continue and persist for a while before she sees the fruit of her efforts.
- The upward spiral has to start somewhere, and unconditional respect or love is impossible to self-generate. It must come by the power of the Holy Spirit. That only comes by standing in the presence of the Holy Spirit. When she seeks God, the Holy Spirit will cause the wife to have unconditional respect, honor, and reverence for your husband. You will honor him as Christ. Paul speaks to employees and slaves and tells them to honor and obey their masters/bosses, not only the good but also the froward. This is doable but only by the power of the Holy Spirit.
- Look for ways to show your wife love. Avoid saying or doing anything that could be interpreted as a lack of love. Find ways to express your love.
- Don't try to control her or push her toward spirituality.
- Include your wife in decisions.
- Pray for her.
- Stop bitter thoughts toward your wife as soon as they enter your mind--the Bible commands it. If you are bitter toward your wife, God won't listen to your prayers. Rebuke negative thoughts toward your wife in the Name of Jesus Christ. Pray, "By the blood of Jesus, I take authority in Christ over my mind." "Lord, give me your thoughts of love and compassion and help me to show love to my wife."
- Ask God what to do and how God thinks about your wife and expect that God will speak to you and show you.
- The Bible says to love your wife. Do it; that is, let God do it through you.
- If you are not getting the respect you desire and that you feel that you ought to get from your wife, then you need to realize that you are the head of the family in God's eyes and forget your own pride. Remember that Moses and every prophet and every apostle and Jesus Himself--none of them received the respect that they deserved. Why should you demand better than they got?
- You will not be able to love your wife as you ought without the Holy Spirit moving in your life. The Holy Spirit will do the work within you. God is love and He will be your love flowing through you.
- It would be quite easy for a husband to love a wife who is always respectful, but it takes the miracle of God to continually show love to a wife who isn't doing her part of showing respect.
- Women almost always will eventually respond to love. It has an effect on them over time.
- Wives almost always start to see the husband who loves them and expresses that love for them in a better light. They have trouble respecting a husband who doesn't show his love for them.
- Women need love like they need air to breathe, and they expect it unconditionally from their husbands no matter what. It's the way that women are created.
- When women are not getting love, they find it hard to respect. They sometimes even start to criticize, belittle, and condemn. They can come to the point where they can only see their husbands faults and cannot see their husbands good points. A husband is smart to make sure to love and express love to his wife. Because of the nature of the marriage relationship, it can either spiral upward or spiral downward.
- The upward spiral has to start somewhere. If a husband takes the initiative to start the upward spiral (which is his responsibility), then he is likely to find that it takes some time before his wife responds. This will require patience. Unconditional love is impossible to self-generate. It must come by the power of the Holy Spirit. That love only comes by standing in the presence of the Holy Spirit. Only the Holy Spirit will cause you to have true unconditional love for your wife. You will love her as the Christ Who lives in her. This is doable but only by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Last updated: Sep, 2012
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