It would be a perversion of marriage for a man to, at any time, not show love toward his wife. Yet, because of the fallen nature, men have lapses. Women must love their husbands with the love of the Lord anyway and discern their husband's ministry in Christ.

The home is the most basic complete unit of the church.  The church is the called-out Body of Christ, Christ the Body.  Marriage was created by God, but never to function outside of Christ the Body.  It is vital part of Christ the Body and will never be fully functional unless is it in its proper place in Christ the Body.  It also must function according the the pattern of Scripture.  Only God's process can bring a home into this blessed and fulfilling state of being.

Ephesians 5:21-33

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the reverence of God. 

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Savior of the body. 

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; 
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the utterance, 
27 That he might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church: 
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence and obey her husband. * *"

It is impossible for a man to have real, true love for a woman outside of the context of the ministry of Christ. He could have sexual attraction or natural affection, but true love would be outside of his reach without Christ. Why is this? Because God is love and the only way to approach God is through Christ. Once we are born into Christ the Body and joined to Christ the Head, we seek to always flow in the love of God, which is by grace through faith. Faith gives us access into this grace.

It is vital that both men and women are able to discern the Body of Christ in their home. 

For the husband to discern the Body of Christ in his home, he will need to look past the fleshly nature of his wife and see her ministry, see the Christ in her.  The husband will also need to look past his own fleshly nature and recognize that he is a ministry, that he a functioning part of Christ the Body.  The husband must identify with the Christ in him rather than identifying with his own fleshly nature.  As he does this, it will be expressed in deep, holy love for his wife and the ministry that dwells in her.  He will see Jesus.

For the wife to discern the Body of Christ in her home means that the wife must look past the fleshly nature of her husband and see the ministry, the Christ in her husband.  The wife must also look past her own fleshly nature and recognize that she is a ministry, a vital part of Christ the Body.  She must identify with the Christ rather than identifying with the fleshly nature.  As she does this, it will be expressed in deep, holy respect for her husband and the ministry that dwells in him.  She will see Jesus.

When we see Jesus in this way, we are transfigured from glory to glory to be like Him.  This is accomplished by the Spirit of the Lord.  If we choose to see flesh, then we become more fleshly.