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God's Pattern for the Family and the Home


God created marriage and the family. Only He has the authority to tell us what it is. The home, the family, is built on the foundation of a husband and a wife. The home is the basic building block of the church. For this reason, it is impossible to write of the home and family outside of the context of the personal walk with Christ, the local Church, and what Martin Luther called the universal invisible Church. It is invisible to those who don't have eyes to see, but it is no more or less visible than the true family.

It should be noted that there is a reason that Satan is attacking the family and trying to re-define the home. Satan is trying to keep you, and everyone else, from the glory that God has planned for them. If Satan can destroy the homes in a country, that country will fall as a nation. All the attempts of Satan to use his followers to redefine marriage have this goal: to kill, steal, and destroy.

The pattern for marriage is simple, one man and one woman, in life-long, loving commitment and union with each other. Those who want to make marriage into something else other than God's pattern cannot do it; they can only create an abomination.

Sex is blessed in marriage. In fact, withholding sex from ones spouse is referred to as fraud.

However, outside of marriage, sex is cursed. It is an abomination. For Christians, it amounts to forcing the Holy Spirit into an unholy union. The Bible says that our bodies are the temples of the Holy Ghost and that God will destroy those who defile the temple of the Holy Ghost.

Much of the pressure to question the Word of God in these matters is for the very purpose of promoting abomination. As Satan said to Eve, "Hath God said...?" God has really said that marriage is between one husband and one wife and marriage is for life. "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church" Ephesians 5:28-29.

Why is this so important? We all need to discern and see the Body of Christ. We see all the gifts, ministries, offices, and orders of the Church. We also can discern and recognize the false. When we see Him as He is, we become like Him. He is a many-membered Body on Earth walking in submission the the Head in Heaven. The family is the basic unit of the Church.

"Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" Gen 2:22-24.

When Moses was called to build the Tabernacle, God said, ""See to it that you make everything according to the pattern shown you on the mountain." Heb 8:5 The same thing happened when Solomon built the temple. Both of these were types and shadows pointing to the Church. The home, being the basic building block of the Church, must be built according to the pattern. Of course, the Church itself, at the local and at the universal level, must also be built according to the pattern. Anything else is an abomination to God. The structure of God's Church is such that only God gets the glory. I am not referring to the make-believe churches and denominations that are so prevalent, but rather the true Church wherever it appears.

The Order Of The Home Is Very Important To God. It's part of His glorious plan of salvation. "Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Colossians 3:18-21

There is only one pattern defined in Scripture for the Church and only one pattern defined in Scripture for the Home. The home is governed by the Father and the Mother (the elder and deacon of the home). The local church is governed by the local Elders (plural with no chief) and Deacons (plural with no chief). The universal church is governed by the traveling Elders (plural with no chief) and traveling Deacons (plural with no chief)--These are apostles.

Both husband and wife ought to commit to God to center their marriage relationship on Jesus Christ. The children also need to make that commitment. Bible reading and prayer needs to happen in every Christian home every day. Weekly attendance at a Spirit-led Church that follows the pattern of the Bible is very important. Gathering with Christians from many Churches and with the teaching of the traveling ministries at least once a year is very helpful to the whole family. The entire family needs to make a commitment to walking in righteousness, being led by the Spirit of God in all decisions and walking in obedience to that leading. Don't quench the Spirit. Let the Holy Spirit rule in the home. Let Love rule in the Home. And it is important that every member of the family guards his or her heart from many of the pitfalls and that which is not of God.

Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her. Wives submit to your own husbands. Children obey your parents. We teach by example in the family and in the Church. And we also teach by word. Both are important, but they are ineffective if the life is not in harmony with what is being taught by word. Everyone submits in the Church and in the home. The husband may have the responsibility to rule, but not to lord it over the wife and children. The husband is the example of love and self-sacrifice and the wife is the example of submission. Christ loved and gave Himself, and He is always in complete submission to the Father. There must be unity in the home just as in the Church.

Please check the links on the right for more information on all of these topics.  

Last updated: Oct, 2013
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