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Courting & Dating -- Wise Sayings About Courting & Dating


A debutante is a young girl with bride ideas. 

A girl who is free for the evening could be very expensive.

If you love someone, you don't lead them to the edge of the proverbial cliff and risk their life or purity.

People who live together and/or engage in sexual relations outside of marriage, take part in what we call premarital sex. Have you watched TV or movies lately? The whole view of marriage is thwarted in media. It is the norm and completely tolerated for couples to live together before they are married, sometimes it is even encouraged. We use terms like, “make love” to describe sex before or outside of marriage. In popular shows we see that premarital sex is something a person does when they “love” the other person, with no mention of commitment or marriage. Without knowing it, this generation is faced with a decision to obey God’s Word or the world’s teaching. ~ Josh Robinson

And I think that’s the story of our generation’s pursuit of fulfillment in relationships. We wished for intimacy without obligation. We wished for sex with no strings attached. We wished for the pleasure of love with none of the work, none of the vows, none of the sacrifice. And we got it. But the results aren’t what we hoped for. And we’re left feeling emptier than before. The intimacy is superficial. The sex leaves us dissatisfied and hungry for something real, something true. ~ Joshua Harris

Sex in marriage is a gift from God--outside of marriage, it is cursed.

People usually look for “loopholes” in Scripture that they can use to rationalize their lifestyle, instead of looking at it for what it says. Josh Robinson

Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Ephesians 5:3

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to live a celibate life. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each  woman should have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:1

Yes, I am afraid that when I come again, God will humble me in your presence. And I will be grieved because many of you have not given up your old sins. You have not repented of your impurity, sexual immorality, and eagerness for lustful pleasure. 2 Corinthians 12:31

But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. 1 Corinthians 7:9

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures. Galatians 5:19

Relationship with benefits but no commitment. People want to sleep together with no strings attached, especially guys. To be honest, women get the raw end of the deal. Usually they are bringing more to the table, emotionally and physically while men bring low commitment and security to the woman. David Popenhoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University say, “Men experience few social pressures to marry, gain many of the benefits of marriage by cohabiting with a romantic partner, and are ever more reluctant to commit to marriage in their early adult years.“ The reality is that sexual sin affects the mind, will and the emotions. According to God’s Word, sexual fulfillment is only blessed in covenant marriage between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5). Anything outside of marriage (premarital sex, adultery, homosexuality) is sin. ~ Josh Robinson

What do we do about sexual sin? Paul writes in Colossians 3:5, “So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.“ Scripture is clear that marriage is great! In today’s culture it is important to model that fact that a Christ-centered marriage is fun, exciting and a blessing. Marriage is God’s first institution. He created it! ~ Josh Robinson

Financial reasons. Usually this is the main reason people live together. Usually the financial reason quickly disappears. The “separate room” mentality quickly changes into sharing a room together. Fornication quickly follows. My encouragement would be if you are living together, to go get married! If you are “burning with passion” then you should be married. ~ Josh Robinson

Lust and selfishness do not equal love.

Do you give yourself away, physically and emotionally, in ways that you regret later?

Where is true joy? It's found in God's brand of love--love founded on faithfulness, love rooted in commitment. the joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment. ~ Joshua Harris

Sinful and selfish people are the cause of sinful and selfish relationships  ~ Joshua Harris

Trade-offs, choices, and consequences of actions are often not reversible. Look deeply enough to the cost.

Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of the relationship. ~ Joshua Harris

In a true friendship, you don't feel pressured by knowing that you "like" the other person or that he or she "likes" you back. You feel free to be yourself and do things together without spending three hours in front of the mirror making sure you look perfect. ~ Joshua Harris

C.S. Lewis describes friendship as two people walking side by side toward a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together. ~ Joshua Harris

In dating, romantic attraction is often the cornerstone of the relationship. The premise of dating is "I'm attracted to you; therefore, let's get to know each other." The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is "We're interested in the same things; let's enjoy these common interests together." If romantic attraction forms after developing a friendship, it's an added bonus. ~ Joshua Harris

Just because lips have met doesn't mean hearts have been joined. ~ Joshua Harris

Just because two bodies are drawn to each other doesn't mean two people are right for each other. ~ Joshua Harris

A physical relationship doesn't equal love. ~ Joshua Harris

When we consider that our culture as a whole regards the words love and sex as interchangeable, we shouldn't be surprised that many dating relationships mistake physical attraction and sexual intimacy for true love. Sadly, many Christian dating relationships reflect this false mindset. ~ Joshua Harris

Sadly, many couples gauge the seriousness of their relationship by the level of their physical involvement. ~ Joshua Harris

Focusing on the physical is plainly sinful. God demands sexual purity. And He does this because He is holy. He also does it for our own good. ~ Joshua Harris

Physical involvement can distort two people's perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices. ~ Joshua Harris

God also knows that we'll carry the memories of our past physical involvements into marriage. He doesn't want us to live with guilt and regret. ~ Joshua Harris

Dating can distract young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future. ~ Joshua Harris

Dating may help you practice being a good boyfriend or girlfriend, but are these the skills we need for marriage? ~ Joshua Harris

Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ's love. ~ Joshua Harris

Until you realize God's gift of your singleness, you'll probably miss out on the incredible opportunities it holds. ~ Joshua Harris

As a single, you have the freedom right now to explore, study, and tackle the world. No other time in your life will offer these chances. ~ Joshua Harris

There is no need to pursue a romantic relationship before you are ready for marriage.

The old attitude would say that intimacy feels good, so enjoy it now. But the new attitude recognizes that if two people can't make a committeemen to each other, they don't have any business pursuing romance. ~ Joshua Harris

If you're not ready to consider marriage or you're not truly interested in marrying a specific person, it's selfish and potentially very harmful to encourage that person to need you or ask him or her to gratify you emotionally or physically. ~ Joshua Harris

Sin: Acknowledging lies rather than Truth, so you step or slip off the narrow and restricted Way that leads to the genuine and absolute fullness of Life.
Jesus: The Way, the Truth, and the Life.

In God's eyes two married people become one. And as you continue to mature, you'll often crave the oneness that comes from sharing life with someone. Perhaps you feel that desire even now. Yet I believe that until we're ready to commit our lives in marriage, we have no right to treat anyone as if he or she belongs to us. ~ Joshua Harris

Sin will take you farther than you wanted to go faster than you thought possible, and will keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and will cost you more than you thought you would pay.

The old attitude says we can "play marriage" if we really love someone. But the new attitude views a claim on the other person's time, affection, and future before marriage as unwarranted. ~ Joshua Harris

Avoid placing yourself in situations that could lead to temptation. ~ Joshua Harris

Warning of deception: Little children, let no one or nothing deceive you; whoever does righteousness is righteous just as He [Jesus] is righteous. Whoever acts to wander from the path is of the devil; for the devil wanders from the path from the beginning. For this purpose the Mature Son of God was made visible: in order to demolish the works of the devil. Whoever is born of God does not wander from the path that leads to the absolute, genuine Life, for His seed remains in that person, and that person cannot wander from the path, being born of God. In this the children of God are plainly known, and the children of the devil: whoever doesn't do righteousness is not of God, and neither is the one who does NOT love his or her fellow believer. 1 John 3:7-10

Men will often deceive themselves by believing that the Ten Commandments condemn only adultery, leaving them free to have sex outside the bonds of marriage. However, the Law condemns all unlawful sex. First Timothy 1:8–10 tells us that the Law was also made for fornicators (those the Bible calls “whoremongers”). ~ Ray Comfort



Last updated: Nov, 2013
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