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Regarding Criticism


Matt 7:1-5  "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

Malachi 3:18: Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not.

Romans 6: 17 Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. 18  For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.

2 Cor. 6: 17  Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

1 John 4: 1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

What is it to be judgmental?

 Thoughts are things that can damage your mind or build up Christ in you.

 The following apply to thoughts, words, and deeds:

  • You versus me (we)
  • Unfavorable comparisons (don’t compare one person to another)
  • Name calling/nominalization (good labels)
  • Expressions of hate or dislike (expressions of love)
  • Bad timing (wait for the right time)
  • Pouncing (gentle start ups)
  • I’m right, you are wrong (we have a problem—I may be part)
  • Avoidance: don’t talk to me (openness)
  • Accusing (ask respectful questions)
  • Accusing questions/loaded questions (no presuppositions in questions)
  • Why don’t you ever . . . (avoid exaggeration and loaded questions)
  • Exaggerating: never/always (be specific and truthful)
  • Mind reading evil intentions (say what happened and what is, not what you imagine)
  • Muck-raking the past (leave the past in the past)
  • Loud, angry voice and aggressive body language (a soft word and open body language)
  • Justifying bad behavior (open to explore your part in problem-admit errors or offenses)
  • If you were better . . . (change yourself, not the other person)
  • Trying to coerce (change yourself, not the other person)
  • Vague demands: “Be more considerate.” (be specific)
  • Presuppositions (say things openly)
  • Ever since you . . . (avoid this phrase or phrases like it)
  • Threats (don’t threaten)
  • Ultimatums (don’t make ultimatums)
  • Escalation (calm things down-self control)
  • Thwarting attempts to make peace (receive attempts to reconcile)
  • Violence (never, not even in thought-if you are flooding with emotion, take a walk)
  • Tears to avoid communication (talk it out)
  • Withdrawing (open communication)
  • Bitterness (see Christ in each other)
  • Sarcasm and humor against others (if you use humor, make yourself the butt of the joke)


Last updated: Jan, 2014
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