The Disorder of Ungodly Friends
As Christians, we should love everyone and get along with everyone, but if everyone loves us it is a sign that there is something wrong with us. What? Does that make any sense in our politically correct world? Yes it does. God does not change to fit the culture. The culture, that is the world, will reject you if you walk in the Spirit.
Luke 6:26 Woe to you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.
Proverbs 18:24a A man of many companions may come to ruin,
1 John 3:13 Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you.
Too often, Christians will become close friends of the ungodly. Some marry the ungodly and bring misery for a lifetime. For this to happen, the Christian must be a hypocrite. If a Christian is not a hypocrite but truly keeps in step with the Spirit of God, then the culture, the ungodly, will reject that Christian to an extent. Any Christian who truly walks the walk of the Spirit will not fit in with the worldly, the ungodly, and that Christian will never be allowed into the inner circle of friendship. Because of the humility of Christ that is in a Christian that is called to the first resurrection, the Christian can bear the fact that they are somewhat of an outcast. They can love those who don't love them. They will show honor, be polite, be gracious, and not get into angry arguments even when the ungodly try to provoke and bring pressure. The ungodly will bring pressure because they are led by Satan. They are slaves and cannot help it. They think that they are free, but they are in bondage. Those followers of Christ who are not walking close to Jesus or who have no understanding and wisdom will begin to make concessions to fit in and reduce the pressure on themselves. Since these hypocritical Christians have already made all the concessions, they just continue to be squeezed into the mold of the world. Then, they will contend with God and argue with Him that this is not a problem. Contending with God leads to hardness of heart toward God. They just slide away from God slowly. They never can have true friends. Their ungodly fake friends would not accept them if they were to stop making all the compromises. Their ungodly friends will not make any compromises for them--they just keep on putting gentle pressure on the hypocrite to conform more to ungodliness.l The exact opposite happens with their godly friends. They have to keep up their guard against their godly fake friends--not that their godly friends are fakes with them, but they are fake friends with the godly. They have to fake it, but they can never let out the fact that they are leading a double life. They can never feel comfortable with their godly friends though their godly friends are true friends to them.
It is pride that makes a Christian seek out close friendship with unbelievers. This is especially true among teens who don't have a very close walk with God. Because they are not too close to God, they feel a need to be popular. This is like a disease among the young. Here is the problem with that: James 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
There was a pastor of a denominational Christian organization that went to a picnic at a Church member's house. This pastor told off-color jokes, and the people in his organization were used to hearing him tell these types of jokes. He was trying to fit in with the ungodly in order to be popular. There are people who set themselves up as ministers of the gospel who are using vulgarity to try to bond with the ungodly who are listening. This does not come from the Spirit of Christ. There are religious leaders who are bringing rock and roll music and other forms of ungodly music into their Churches to try to bond with the ungodly. Cross-over music is another example of trying to fit into the world's mold. It is based on a fallacy. The failed logic says that by performing music that sounds like an ungodly song but actually has a double meaning because it could be interpreted religiously, that will bring people into the Church. It will not. It takes people out of the Church and it makes those Christians who listen to it remain as infants, babies in Christ. These are all doctrines of demons. This is hypocrisy, plain and simple. This is what hypocrisy looks like and smells like. It will only lead to ruin.
The purity of a follower of Christ will make the ungodly feel uncomfortable regardless of how loving and nice the follower of Christ is to the ungodly person. The Holy Spirit does not let us feel comfortable when we are lot walking right. God loves us and wants us to walk in righteousness. The love of God in us does the same thing if we will allow Him to do it. He won't force you to do His will, but if you have a humble heart, you will be able to submit to the Holy Spirit and walk in righteousness.
It is important that we, as Christians love every person. We may have many acquaintances, and that is good. How else can we bring people to know Jesus. If we are not talking to people about our faith and the way that our faith affects our lives, it is probably a sign that we are trying to appear ungodly so we can fit in with the world. That is dangerous.
Adults and young people fail to define themselves as followers of Christ because they want to fit in. They would never speak of their faith. They will laugh at off-color jokes, watch off-color movies, listen to ungodly types of music, try to defend ungodly music that uses some Christian words, read ungodly magazines, post ungodly posts to Face Book, and many other such things. As they fit in with the world, the culture, they no longer fit in with the Church. One of two things will then happen. They will change the Church to be the world--in which case it will no longer be the Church, or they will leave the Church. Often, people will leave a Church that is following Jesus in order to join a pseudo-church that has long ago ceased to walk in the Spirit. Gradually they walk away from God until there is nothing left of their faith. They may have a form of religion, but there is certainly no power or righteousness in it. They may start to use foul language as a way to deny Christ and seem more ungodly to their friends. Eventually, everything that is good and holy seems bad to them. They have no desire for the things of God. Only the things of the world appeal to them. That is the sad destruction of those who would be a friend of the world.
There are some people who are just angry. We need to extend our love to them and try to help them but be careful not to learn their ways. Anger, fear, and sexual sins are particularly easy to fall into. We must be constantly on guard. Guard your heart from the planting of seeds of anger or any other seeds of wickedness.
Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: 25 "Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul."
Proverbs 22:24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, 25 or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
You know how easily you can learn the ways of anger. Anger makes you stupid. Anger makes you say and do things that make no sense. It is very difficult of an angry person to leave his or her angry ways, and anger is extremely contagious. Look out!
The Order of Godly Friends
Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Make your friends in the Church.
The artificially produced so-called "generation gap" was engineered by Satan a few decades ago. The young people are told, by their ungodly counselors, that they must have friends their own age. They are lied to and told that they have more in common with those of their own age. The reality is the godly young people really have nothing in common with the ungodly of their own age and everything in common with older godly Christians. Those ungodly counselors are generally not their own age, but they are persuasive and there are many of them saying the same ungodly thing. Young people need close friends who are older with experience in godliness. They need someone who will tell them when they are going in a way that has a bad consequence. They need the stability of those who have a measure of faithfulness. If young people continue to fall in with ungodly friends, then they will begin to have everything in common with the ungodly and nothing in common with God. Those who are older need to learn to reach out to the young. They will find that the young people have a ministry in the Body of Christ and can be led by the Holy Spirit in that ministry.
There are other artificial divisions such as profession, income, accent, or family heritage. There is no separation in Christ between the City folk and the Country folk. There is no separation in Christ between those who have a college degree and those who do not. Divisions based on disputes are also a type of lie given to divide the Church and to keep it from coming to fullness. Ephesians
4:32 says, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." All of the divisions mentioned here are artificial and of the enemy of our souls. They are meant to bring us into death.
1 John 3:10 In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother. 3:11 For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
1 John 3:14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 4:8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
1 John 4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? 4:21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.
1 John 3:17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
But the fleshly nature of Christians would rather join an organization where they could get some recognition rather than helping a brother or sister where no one really knows about it. Followers of Christ must follow Christ rather than following their own fleshly nature.
Purity is always smart. Impurity is always stupid. If you make friends with people who love impurity then you will become impure. You may to work with such people, but they should know quickly that you are not marching to the beat of the same drummer that they are marching to. You should not judge them, but you should judge that impurity is wrong and keep yourself pure. In general, these people will then avoid you. They will feel uncomfortable around you. They will de-friend you on Face Book. They know they are impure and you make them think about that fact. They really hate Christ who is in you, so don't take it personally. They will say that you are not with it or that you are judging them, but their real problem is that they hate Jesus. This is especially sad when they are claiming to be Christians. Perhaps all you can do is pray for them. Again, keep loving them with the love of Christ but remember that sexual sin is also very contagious. You can learn of their evil ways. Sexual sin has always been one of Satan's favorite ways to pull people away from King Jesus. King Jesus will be your friend, but you must have pureness of heart and grace on your lips.
Proverbs 22:11 He that loveth pureness of heart, for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.
Make good friends in the Church. All your close friends should be strong Christians. You can have many acquaintances, but you should only have close friends who are walking closely with Jesus. Those friends should be loved by you at all times. If you turn on them when their popularity or their fortune fail, then you were never a friend. A fair weather friend is no friend at all.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
One other thing, real friend can talk and correct each other. A real friend keeps his or her friends from making mistakes or falling into sin. Real friend are thankful when their friends keep them from mistakes and sin. A real friend warns. Real friends are thankful for their friend's warnings.
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
A good friend makes you better. A real friend encourages to righteousness. Real friends receive that encouragement with joy.
Ephesians 4:15-16 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him [Christ] in all things, which is the head, even Christ: From whom [Christ] the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body to the edifying of itself in love.
Every joint--the place between two members--supplies what is needed. This takes place in a 1 Corinthians 14 Church service, but it also happens during the week as Christians fellowship with their friends from Church. The Holy Spirit is working effectively in each member, each ministry, to make this take place. In this way, the body makes increase of itself by speaking the truth in love. It builds itself up into a holy temple to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. This is a progressive experience that goes from glory to glory and from faith to faith.
The Church is built up into the fullness of Christ by a living, functioning body of Christ that is ministering (serving). You, as a Christian, are called to be conformed to the image of Christ--to become like Him--to become the ministry that God created you to be. The ministry is Christ in you, the hope of glory. You are called to become that Christ nature and die to self. This is by submission to the Holy Spirit, not by human effort. God completes this work in you. If you try, you will frustrate the grace of God. However, this is not an individual effort. You need friends, the Church of the living God. Christ divided Himself among the members of His Body, so you are only a part. You were created to be conformed to Christ and joined together in unity with every other believer into a Body that has a unity that at this time we cannot even imagine.
A Christian without the entire Body of Christ is like a brick without a building or like a finger without a Body. There is seemingly no purpose or meaning. The same is true in Church organizations that do not follow the orders of Scripture. The members have no purpose or meaning. They are bricks in a house that does not follow God's building code and will have to be torn down. They themselves will be saved but their work will be lost. (read more) No person will come to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ by himself or herself. The Church will come to that stature as a unit. As the Scripture says, "until we all come... to a perfect [totally complete] man. This will be the fulfillment of Christ's body. It already is Christ's body, but has not walked into the fullness of the experience.
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
A real friend rebukes his or her friend when the friend is wrong, and a real friend can receive the rebuke. Look at how the apostle Paul rebuked the apostle Peter when Peter was trying to fit in with the wrong crowd. Peter was just trying to be friendly with the wrong people, and Paul saved him.
Proverbs 27:9 Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.
A real friend teaches. A real friend gives wise advice. Real friends are happy to learn godly lessons and gain wisdom from their friends.
If these examples do not sound like your own life, the examine your life. It is likely that you may be walking under a dark cloud of many lies. Perhaps you have surrounded yourself with ungodly friends. If so, set yourself free and walk with Jesus. Make friends with those who are following God. There won't be many. God always works with a small remnant. That is enough.
James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
A friend is one who knows all about you and loves you just the same. When you confess to a friend and your friend prays for you, this gives you a power for walking in righteousness. It is a shame when a young person cannot confess to a parent. It is a shame when spouses cannot confess to each other.
In summary, you must be a genuine person and not a phony. As a follower of Christ, you are a hypocrite if you try to fit in with the ungodly. As a hypocrite, you actually end up with no real friends and many phony friends. You cannot share your faith with the ungodly fake friends. You cannot share your ungodly speech with your godly fake friends. Once in a while you slip and embarrass yourself. You use foul language with your godly fake friends. Your godly fake friends accept you, but you do not fully accept them--you always have to be on your guard lest you slip and expose your ungodly self. With your ungodly friends, you accept them, but they would not accept you if they knew that you had a faith--which you must carefully hide. You are among the most miserable people on the earth because you can never be yourself--what God created you to be. If fact, you can't know who you really were created to be because you never can truly draw near to God. You cannot fool God. What you sow, you will surely reap. You are headed toward death even though you know better.
If, on the other hand, you follow Jesus with your whole heart, you will have a few very close friends. Those friends will be in the Church. They will believe what you believe. They will encourage you. The ungodly will shun you to an extent. Because of Christ in your heart, you will get along with everyone and love everyone. Your ungodly acquaintances will ask you about Christ in those moments when their hearts open to Christ. Sometimes, someone will come to Christ because of you. That could never happen if you are a hypocrite, but it will happen once in a while if you are a true follower of Christ.
Last updated: Apr, 2013